i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
