i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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