he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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