Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
