It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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