my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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