i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
