I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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