And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
how does that bad decision feel?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
