Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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