Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
