Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
