I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
