so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
