Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
