My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
