If that was your dad, he is hot
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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