I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Randomize
