last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
