My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
