Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
