Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
