Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm getting married
To pizza
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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