Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
