I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
