I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The air was thick with penises
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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