Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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