I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
