let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
