You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I have fence marks all over my body
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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