dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
