they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
