the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
