I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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