He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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