the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
