he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Two words: nipple clamps
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