We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
