marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
