That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
