I think scott just propositioned me for sex
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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