We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just had sex on a roof
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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