walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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