if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
