Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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