there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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