I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
