Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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