So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
