I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
