whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
